


The Cabbage Patch Kid Bong

by LarryDaDawg



Series: Larry the Dog [1]
Category: Larry the Dog
Genre: Comedy, Drug Use, Drugs, Furry, Gen, Humor, OC, Weed, weed use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:47:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24963241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarryDaDawg/pseuds/LarryDaDawg
Summary: Larry and her gang hang out and use a bong made out of a Cabbage Patch Kid. Pretty gnarly.
Relationships: Jam/Corndog, Larry/Dwayne
Series: Larry the Dog [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1806730





	The Cabbage Patch Kid Bong

Riiing.  
The final bell for your final hour goes off, and you’re exhausted. You’re very excited to go home and take a nap, as you’re about 2 seconds from passing out. It’s been a long day and you’ve worked hard. You walk outside to hop on your skateboard and ride home, when suddenly, you receive a call. Your phone begins to vibrate and you quickly pull it out of your pocket. You wonder who it could be, as nobody calls you a whole lot. You then find out who it is. It’s your friend, Jam. 

“Jam?” You’re a bit confused as to why he’s calling you. “What’s popping?”  
“Meet me in the school basement.” Jam answers, and he sounds like he’s trying not to giggle.  
Jam is one of your closest friends. You’ve known him for a while and he never fails to make you laugh. He’s also just fun around to be in general. Just a good guy. “Uh...okay. Why, though?” You’re still a bit puzzled. You’ve only been in the school basement two times so far, each for storm drills. Something about it always seemed...off to you. Everytime you’re in there, you feel as if you’re being watched. “I have something special waiting for you, you’re gonna love it! Now get over here!” Jam responds. He begins to chuckle. You decide to just go, as you have nothing better to do. You pick up your skateboard and head back inside the school.

You proceed down the stairs towards the basement. After a bit of walking, you finally get to it. The lights are off, and you can’t see shit.  
“...Jam?” You call out into the dark.  
“Oh, yeah, one second, haha.” The lights turn on and you squint your eyes as they adjust to the light. You observe your surroundings. The basement is rather messy. There’s trash and random items strewn everywhere. You’re confused as to what’s supposed to be waiting for you here.  
“Where’s the special...thing.” You ask. “Oh, sorry, right here! Ta-da!” Jam pulls out a Cabbage Patch Kid. You’re confused on how this is special at first, then you notice it. There’s a blunt sticking out of the dolls mouth and some type of...tube at the top. It’s a fucking Cabbage Patch Kid bong. He was right. You do love it.

"WOAH. JAM. DID YOU SHAVE THIS BABY’S FUCKING HEAD JUST TO PUT A TUBE IN IT?” The doll was shaved on the head. It looked pretty awkward and funny. “Yep! Now let’s fucking BLAZE IT! Me first though.” He grabs the Cabbage Patch Kid and inhales off the tube deeply, his eyes rolling back into his head a bit. He then exhales, letting out smoke. “Come on, dude, hit the baby!” He throws the doll-bong at you. You catch it, turning it towards you. You begin to observe it. Just as you’re about to puff off it, you hear a door slam open. A dark shadow looms over you and Jam. You both go wide eyed and glance at each other.  
“Is...that a teacher or some shit? Do we need to run?” You’re terrified.  
Jam’s entire face turns pale. He then shoots his arms up. “WE SURRENDER! WE’RE SO SORRY, WE WERE JUST-”  
“Uh...what?” A familiar voice quietly asks. You know exactly who it is, and you’re a bit confused as to why he’s here.

“Dwayne?” Jam questions, stepping closer to the dark figure. The figure steps out of the darkness, revealing himself. It’s Dwayne!  
“Hey dude. Check this baby out.” You hold up the makeshift bong.  
“OKAY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GUYS DO WHILE I WAS IN CLASS WHAT THE HELL-” He starts freaking out. “Chill. I...Woah.” The effects of the bong begin to hit Jam. His eyes are completely red. “Dude...what if in the future...school is...illegal?” His speech is rather slurred. “Haha. Cool. Dude. Dwayne. Try it. Please.” Jam pleads.  
“Haha, okay, but if you tell my parents I’ll fucking annihilate you.” You hand the bong over to Dwayne and he puffs of it. His eyes go wide as he tries to hold it in. “Hey this is actually pretty good-” He strains. He then exhales, almost falling over.  
“O-OH MAN THAT HITS YOU SO FUCKING FAST-” He begins to rapidly shake, putting his head in his hands and sitting down on a torn-up couch.  
You realize you still haven’t used the stupid fucking Cabbage Patch Kid bong. You grab it and look the doll in the eyes.  
“Guys...this is a bit fucked up.” You say. You don’t really care, though.

You begin to puff off the bong. You inhale long and deep.  
“Holy shit dude, she’s sucking the SHIT out of that Cabbage Patch Kid!” Jam laughs.  
You hold for about 10 seconds, then exhale. Just then, your vision begins to blur. You see...vaguely blue and red dots everywhere. Your head hurts. You feel incredibly dizzy and you almost fall over. A wave of nausea hits you and you fall to your knees.  
“GUYS WHAT IS IN THAT-”  
“Uh...9-pound hammer!” Jam answers.  
“FOR FUCKS SAKE!”

9-pound hammer is some of the strongest shit out there. It’s called that because it makes you feel like you got hit in the head with a 9-pound hammer. It’s fucked up but kind of gnarly. Anyways, back to you tripping out to hell and back.  
You begin to crawl on the ground, trying to...ground yourself in reality. You’ve felt this before, but it still knocks you on your ass sometimes. You’re shaking like a chihuahua. Even though you’re a pitbull.  
“Woahhh...dude...your eyes are FUCKED!” Dwayne laughs.  
“God fucking damnit…” You whisper to yourself. “You know what? It’s fine. This is nothing, you know?” You stand up quickly. This makes it 10 times worse.  
You begin to zone out as you stare at a copy of the Mona Lisa (dog version, of course) on the wall. Horrifically, the painting morphs into a portrait of...your father. He begins to speak.  
“Woahhh...look at you. Your life has gone so downhill you’re doing weed in a school basement. Are you proud of yourself?”  
You tear up. You feel broken. What is happening?  
“Hey...guys...I don’t...feel...so good…” Your voice is shaky as you begin to cry. You fall to the ground and both Jam and Dwayne rush to your side.  
“Uh...you good?” Jam asks. “Woahhh...dude...you’re tripping! Haha! Woahhh!”  
“Are you actually fucking okay?” Dwayne asks, concerned.  
"Dad..."

"Okay, she's actually fucking gone." Dwayne and Jam look at each other. Suddenly, you hear a door open in the basement. The door from the room under the staircase. Out comes a raggedy looking dog holding drumsticks.  
He immediately spots you. He looks angry.  
This kid's name is literally...Corndog. That's it. He's a drummer in a band and he's pretty fucking tough. Despite being intimidating, he's actually pretty good at the drums and Jam absolutely loves him.  
"What are you guys doing here at this time?" Corndog asks.  
Jam's face goes pale, then red. "Corndog? What the fuck- I- What are you-" He begins to sweat profusely.  
"I practice my drums here most of the time. Alone." Corndog replies.  
"SHOW US!" You accidentally blurt out. Again, he's pretty good at drumming. It's fun to watch.  
"I...you're all high, aren't you? I'm not fucking stupid." He walks towards you.  
"Chillllll...drum for us...woahhh..." Dwayne slurs out.  
"Oooooohhhh you want to drum for us you want to drum for us oooooohhhhhh..." You cackle. You're having an amazing time.  
"Fine, if you really insist." 

He pulls out his drumset and sticks and sits down. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, then he begins to play.  
He basically begins to beat the shit out of his drums with the sticks. He's so fast it's a blur, and it sounds fucking awesome. This goes on for about a minute, then he hits his final note, ending the piece. The 3 of you clap and cheer, especially Jam.  
Jam walks over to the drummer. "That was..really good. I'm very impressed." He averts his eyes and scratches the back of his neck. "You're really talented." He smiles.  
Then, something happens that you've never seen before. Corndog's eyes go wide and his face turns completely red. He begins to sweat and shake and he literally looks like he's about to cry or vomit everywhere.  
He tears up. His voice is shaky.  
"I-I-I'M NOT THAT GOOD! OH GOD! HAVE MERCY ON MEEEEE!" He puts his drumset up in a flash and runs up the staircase, out of the basement.  
"...Is he okay?" You ask.  
"Totally." Jam says dreamily.

The effects of the bong have worn off of all 3 of you, so now you're all just laying on the fucked up couch. It's rather late, so you guys agree to leave and meet again soon. You hug Jam, peck Dwayne on the cheek, and then grab your skateboard and walk up the staircase, out of the school. What an adventure. You hop on your skateboard and skate down the street as the sun begins to set, painting the sky many colors.  
You really need a nap.

(END)


End file.
